Saturday, September 8, 2012
Friday, September 7, 2012
Hating Your Parents
I know you use your kids as a tool for being more special, but I must admit there seems to be something going around of kids despising their parents or feeling too close to really get close. It seems almost like a law of nature. I used to like being cozy with my parents, but I eventually found other people to be more mushy and to affect me like that and I liked it a lot but with my parents I was used to holding myself in and being serious, for some reason. Well, my mom is Chinese-Indonesian and my dad is a little Native Amercian.
Your Own Kids
It seems people are always only vying for their biological kids.
It seems there are no exceptions for things in like calming down. I wonder how that gets dealt with in all instances. :(
It seems there are no exceptions for things in like calming down. I wonder how that gets dealt with in all instances. :(
Dream
I don't remember all of it. I was in class and had a friend. This one teacher was there and partly paying attention to me. She for some reason held my hand as I went out and I was supposed to go to a little office to do something. There was this big lady with black hair, kinda casual, and for some reason she picked me up and dangled me on the side at the office. I felt sheltered, though. I just felt where she held me. I didn't really like it.
There was another dream. I was supposed to go somewhere. I was supposed to spend time with someone. It seemed it was practice. I went to the place I was to leave with my mom, thinking I'd be spending time with her. I waited with another girl with blonde|dyed blonde hair, straight and smooth in a ponytail, medium-tall, kinda casual, kinda serious, with like a squared and more pointed chin. I thought she'd be the one I was with, but I guess it was something different. We were to go like on a bus and maybe go to different things like at camp. We got there somehow. People did stuff in front. I was wondering if Ellen DeGeneres was in charge, for some reason, because it was kinda like it, except I think we were outside. It seemed almost as if the stage was domed off. Anyway, I went up and someone gave me a folder of something I had. I shook someone's hand who gave it to me. It was "Für Elise." The guy, who at first I thought was a white girl, was a fair black guy. He asked if I needed time to practice. I was allowed a minute. I said I didn't but then said okay and played through it looking at the notes.
I guess before there was another dream. It was like a diction|speech class, big and like at a gym. I was delayed for some reason but ended up finding my song to do for next class I think, "O Holy Night." Well, part of it, like maybe like 4 lines.
What was prominent was that lady picking me up. I almost felt someone else did. I guess this is the 2nd dream like that. I didn't really like it, but it was an interesting dream. Touching people to me is an interesting topic.
There was another dream. I was supposed to go somewhere. I was supposed to spend time with someone. It seemed it was practice. I went to the place I was to leave with my mom, thinking I'd be spending time with her. I waited with another girl with blonde|dyed blonde hair, straight and smooth in a ponytail, medium-tall, kinda casual, kinda serious, with like a squared and more pointed chin. I thought she'd be the one I was with, but I guess it was something different. We were to go like on a bus and maybe go to different things like at camp. We got there somehow. People did stuff in front. I was wondering if Ellen DeGeneres was in charge, for some reason, because it was kinda like it, except I think we were outside. It seemed almost as if the stage was domed off. Anyway, I went up and someone gave me a folder of something I had. I shook someone's hand who gave it to me. It was "Für Elise." The guy, who at first I thought was a white girl, was a fair black guy. He asked if I needed time to practice. I was allowed a minute. I said I didn't but then said okay and played through it looking at the notes.
I guess before there was another dream. It was like a diction|speech class, big and like at a gym. I was delayed for some reason but ended up finding my song to do for next class I think, "O Holy Night." Well, part of it, like maybe like 4 lines.
What was prominent was that lady picking me up. I almost felt someone else did. I guess this is the 2nd dream like that. I didn't really like it, but it was an interesting dream. Touching people to me is an interesting topic.
Views
So, some people think that if you mess up you have to always act differently. A lot of people believe in mistakes and reasons.
Also, some people's point is that they don't want anything interesting said.
Also, some people's point is that they don't want anything interesting said.
Tim Burton's Kids
It seems that before Tim Burton's son had a more watery look, whereas their daughter did after.
Being Stimulated
I've gotten over feeling stimulated in a way I don't want to be, not sure why I ever had to feel that, must have been set up. It was actually pleasurable.
Feeling
When you feel something, do you feel it totally? I know some locations do the real thing in life.
Dream
I had a dream my middle finger had a white part on my nail, and then I just saw a picture of Tim Burton like that.
A Critical Side
I found Tim Burton and Johnny Depp to have a critical side they do not reveal. They seem to judge you for the pressure that's gone through your head.
Feeling in Pieces
I tend to feel things in pieces and not all at once.
I don't know why, but I feel things more from people from the midwest, even before I lived there.
I don't know why, but I feel things more from people from the midwest, even before I lived there.
Feeling
So ... I forget, like, I like to go on feeling something, but we all die and get over feeling things. Maybe, that depends on how we take care of ourselves. I tend to feel like a little from time to time. I guess we have to fix ourselves to fix right.
Messing Up
I don't really get why if you're a better person if you mess up in something radical that you have to feel worse about yourself and to an unhealthy point than others in the same reasons for being in situations.
Process
Are we in the process of getting me to mess up where others don't and then to slowly play around with my thoughts until we're tired?
Helena Bonham Carter
I wonder how long Helena Bonham Carter will be learning from and helping Tim Burton.
Minor Roles
It seems Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter will have some kinks in their next project, like you know, how they did Sweeney Todd, Alice in Wonderland, and then Dark Shadows.
Johnny Depp played a minor role like Helena Bonham Carter in one of his movies.
Johnny Depp played a minor role like Helena Bonham Carter in one of his movies.
Race
It seems that if you are with a person, you know them, like you've raised them from birth as a person.
I don't know about biologically. That might have something to do with like race.
I don't know about biologically. That might have something to do with like race.
Kids
Why are kids all different? I know I make compensations, but I'm still a person. I know things don't always work out. Some people think it's worse to be bad.
All-Knowing
I guess Chloë Moretz living briefly in the South and moving to NYC and becoming a child actor knows what I'm doing, but I'm the one who actually does it.
What Happens
Ever wonder what topic we were on to begin with?
It seems the hype is about people from the North thinking like people from the South.
It seems the hype is about people from the North thinking like people from the South.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Doesn't Work
I don't think people can nor should try to get adults of older generations to replace ones of younger generations to like stimulate me like they would instead.
Things I Don't Really Want to Do
Why do people want me to do things I don't want to in certain situations? Why put that kind of pressure on me? It is weird, admittedly...
I just notice people are happy to discover I'm really imperfect, at least in my past, which they make count for various things.
I just notice people are happy to discover I'm really imperfect, at least in my past, which they make count for various things.
Not Making a Point
Some people think it's okay to not make the right point and do something really wrong. It's always been that way.
When You Stop Thinking
Some people seem to even bark at people for wanting to feel stimulated when they can't think of anything but not in a bad way, you know "what" I'm saying?
Minding Your Own Business
Why would people do something they aren't supposed to, why not just mind your own business?
Suggestions
Why do people do things just to be safe, like it seems they've discredited something near and dear?
Mad
I was able to achieve great hights, like when I produced a tone in being vocally conducted when I had an extremely slim waist that day and sometimes then. It's probably the same with other things. It stops after that, though.
Anyway, I know sometimes I think I can keep going in something forever and then don't and don't know why. I'm mad no one gives me a chance. People have told me I was too good growing up all the time, and now they act like I never was worth it but technically not now.
Anyway, I know sometimes I think I can keep going in something forever and then don't and don't know why. I'm mad no one gives me a chance. People have told me I was too good growing up all the time, and now they act like I never was worth it but technically not now.
Dream
I had another good long dream that was hard to remember. I was in this building. My mom was there, and my dad was also in the dream. There was a huge building where I stayed. I guess something was being filmed. Anyway, this was a castle. Our house was in a castle. It was like an elaborate castle, a sorta mansion sized castle. I don't remember what Tim Burton did this time, but I guess I've really gotten to know him from posting about him and seeing his videos of him. So, I'm not perverted, but anyway I got this idea from his interview. I had a good time around him. For some reason, though, we were like on the floor and I was on top. I was just playing, but I think he was hugging me and kissing me. I probably kissed him back? He kissed me on the face, like maybe the lips, big juicy kisses. He said he only kisses his wife and me. He's not really married, but they have kids. I don't know why they aren't married nor why Johnny Depp didn't marry his girlfriend, with whom he has 2 pre-teen kids. I was really sad when he left, though. Anyway, he was visiting me initially, I guess, and gave me a sleeveless shirt, like the ones I see at Wal-Mart, the sorta scratchy stretchy material I don't get. Something was about to happen. I left to go somewhere, and so did he. I know there was a fancy chair there, too. So, it was sad and I was really sad. I think I saw someone who used to live in the front of the castle. I don't remember all we did. She had a new set of parents. They were older, casual people, maybe around age 60-65. They were both obese. The mother "didn't have much of a figure" and dyed her hair like reddish, and the father was more obese. She went away with them, and I went back with my mom. I went and slept on a sofa, which was like my grandma's house, this time arranged with 3 sofas. I moved around them. I kept wanting to stimulate myself but not like directly. It was so bad, I was thinking of doing it on a person. It was something tacky where I wanted to get stimulated, in a radical way. It was a very submissive feeling. My dad got upset he knew I wanted to get a pillow and put myself all over it. I was under blankets on 2 or 3 sofas I was on, too. It was time to get up, and I guess breakfast was being gotten. I think, happily for me, after that, or maybe before, Tim Burton was supposed to visit me, you know for an hour or possibly 2 or possibly less. It was supposed to be fun, again, more civilized and contained. I was really looking forward to it. It was just going to be fun and yes I would feel a lot because that's what happens when you see people you like, I'd hope. Like, I was feeling all over. It wasn't anything inappropriate other than how I described. I was pretty sad, anyway, when he didn't actually come at all again. I was left wondering if he ever would come. It was in some room in this castle, which was kinda public. It was going to be very contained and proper. Just good fun. However, I woke up, to feeling like I was before I went to bed, stimulated. I don't know why I feel stimulated every time I get in bed. However, something bothered me, and I stopped feeling as stimulated and ending up stimulating myself physically. It didn't work, and I was happy for it. I tried twice. I am feeling better now, but after I wrote this dream I feel drained. I was gonna get up and sing. Maybe, I'll go eat and work out. I might have the living area to myself. I'll download Kate Bush's new version of "Running up That Hill," which she sung at the closing ceremony of the Olympics. She's been singing but not performing since the 80s. Well, I already have it on iTunes but will put it on my cell phone for if I run. The other song I have is Orla Fallon's "Carrickfergus." The other recording of her I like is the YouTube of her doing "Orinoco Flow" or "Sail Away," Enya's most famous song, I think, I'm pretty sure, or used to be, at least in Florida. So, anyway, now I feel kinda bad, like I was put off being stimulated and then tried to stimulate myself, had to, happy it didn't happen. I guess it won't. :)
Conclusion
It seems like Tim Burton lets|has Helena Bonham Carter somehow like rule the world. I just got that conclusion.
Compensation
So, some people enjoy early on sorta dizzying up your life? Like, artificially? Everyone has to compensate, at least in the U.S.?
Morality
It just seems they make their daughter make us jealous of her. It's been that way ever since a certain point, but it's always been an issue. It seems he giggles about it, his daughter. She takes precedence in issues of morality.
Tim Burton
I noticed Tim Burton makes things confusing because like he seems so smart and the actors seem so like jealous.
Intellectual People
Do you know when someone intellectual is in charge and it's nice but they decide to have fun but they're already in? Like, you know to feel pleasure for entertainment? Since that's what life's about? Isn't that what everyone else has to do?
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