I'm still feeling bad about my violent thoughts. They were sorta like a mist above me, I just sorta went crazy at a certain thought, that I'd have to keep waiting to be on good terms with my parents because of a thought that came to my mind. They just won't stop, it seems, since this certain incident. They weren't graphic, just sorta a reaction. It seems people understand and wouldn't want to be in my position. They might be more equipped in ways with how to judge their behavior.
I think the risk is going away of me doing this again as vividly. I would get mad if I was able to become stimulated in a way I don't want to be and by someone I don't want to have stimulate me, at least not like that nor in the same attempt at how I've interacted with others, at least not at this time.
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