I guess I'm timid around some people on Twitter, so don't bother getting into me.
True, I will post, probably, maybe more soon, even. :)
Monday, September 10, 2012
Nothing Interesting to Do
but eat and sleep.
I guess I'll hope I'm awake during the day sometime tomorrow so I can apply to an agency.
I think if I go to school I have to live on campus. I don't really want to go anywhere.
I guess I'll hope I'm awake during the day sometime tomorrow so I can apply to an agency.
I think if I go to school I have to live on campus. I don't really want to go anywhere.
My Life
So, shouldn't people be allowed to do whatever they want?
I don't really like picking at things that aren't there.
I feel that my life is like at a standstill, but so is others's. It's certainly become more organized. It's also too bad I went to the mental hospital, but that's not the worst of it. Well, maybe. :p
I don't really like picking at things that aren't there.
I feel that my life is like at a standstill, but so is others's. It's certainly become more organized. It's also too bad I went to the mental hospital, but that's not the worst of it. Well, maybe. :p
Americans
Did you notice a lot of Americans do "whatever you say" trying to look innocent and then feel at ease?
I can pretty much justify my actions and reactions.
I can pretty much justify my actions and reactions.
Things for Others
Did you notice suddenly some things are reserved for some people that are rather bizarre that you'd like to try?
Dream
I think the other eradicating animal was a timid yet forward in a way furry ball, kinda brownish. I was kinda solid and in charge.
Tim Burton
I wonder if Tim Burton's daughter and Helena Bonham Carter will be at the Frankenweenie premieres.
Well, I think it would be nice, but it would probably take his attention away from others, whereas I know with other people it wouldn't. Johnny Depp is with Amber Heard, and she seems to be having a reserve with him somehow, though it seems Helena Bonham Carter with Tim Burton is nice like a family and all. I think it's nice when famous people interact with others like that, but like I know it changes things in the end. They have reasons for doing things. I just hope they're the desired reasons, in the end. If not, then I guess you have to do something else about it later.
Still, it will still be the premiere and the same people involved will be there and it'll probably get posted on YouTube. :)
Well, I think it would be nice, but it would probably take his attention away from others, whereas I know with other people it wouldn't. Johnny Depp is with Amber Heard, and she seems to be having a reserve with him somehow, though it seems Helena Bonham Carter with Tim Burton is nice like a family and all. I think it's nice when famous people interact with others like that, but like I know it changes things in the end. They have reasons for doing things. I just hope they're the desired reasons, in the end. If not, then I guess you have to do something else about it later.
Still, it will still be the premiere and the same people involved will be there and it'll probably get posted on YouTube. :)
Tim Burton
I just meant the whole world is hyped over him and other people like him. I took a long break from looking into him and am kinda hyped over him at the present.
Tim Burton's Daughter
What do you think of the idea|fact we all know his daughter squeals in joy at the fact that she can see Tim Burton maybe almost every day and I guess is rich and famous and that other people don't and she realizes a lot of people would like to and that she isn't like I dunno some certain way I can't describe.
My Nose
My nose was set up for tragedy. It was as wide as it should be.
I was sleeping at an office, and when I came out my nose was bigger. I felt disturbed by the noise, from one worker there.
I was sleeping at an office, and when I came out my nose was bigger. I felt disturbed by the noise, from one worker there.
My Lips
Also, somehow my aunt knew I was upset and talked to me but I wasn't upset with her and I felt self-conscious about my lips in a picture. Now, I saw her talk to me again, and it came back. That's so obsessive, but I suppose I'm left with no choice but to fight through it for some reason, not as bad as before. It was quite a big deal..
Help!
I enjoy posting online, and ever since I thought someone was acting like they wanted me to call them the "n" word, but not in a more painful way, people have been weird around me, like they know. I didn't tell anyone for awhile.
Anyway, when I go to use the clock, I think of my grandma about "time" and it's super-annoying to live like that. I don't think of anyone every time I look at something even if it's a picture of them.
Anyway, when I go to use the clock, I think of my grandma about "time" and it's super-annoying to live like that. I don't think of anyone every time I look at something even if it's a picture of them.
Finally Off?
I thought I was finally off something.
My parents quit doing things by the day somehow. I wonder why it came back. They figured it was useless to keep doing it. I just won't start, again, thinking in that mindset. They seem to be buffering it. You know, no one cares about them.
Who thinks thinking is all about judging others too harshly?
My parents quit doing things by the day somehow. I wonder why it came back. They figured it was useless to keep doing it. I just won't start, again, thinking in that mindset. They seem to be buffering it. You know, no one cares about them.
Who thinks thinking is all about judging others too harshly?
Stimulation
I don't literally want some people to think of one day stimulating me in a certain way in a funny way, but I do want to have a relationship with them, especially at least now.
Violent Thoughts
I'm still feeling bad about my violent thoughts. They were sorta like a mist above me, I just sorta went crazy at a certain thought, that I'd have to keep waiting to be on good terms with my parents because of a thought that came to my mind. They just won't stop, it seems, since this certain incident. They weren't graphic, just sorta a reaction. It seems people understand and wouldn't want to be in my position. They might be more equipped in ways with how to judge their behavior.
I think the risk is going away of me doing this again as vividly. I would get mad if I was able to become stimulated in a way I don't want to be and by someone I don't want to have stimulate me, at least not like that nor in the same attempt at how I've interacted with others, at least not at this time.
I think the risk is going away of me doing this again as vividly. I would get mad if I was able to become stimulated in a way I don't want to be and by someone I don't want to have stimulate me, at least not like that nor in the same attempt at how I've interacted with others, at least not at this time.
Thoughts
Why do weird thoughts keep coming to my mind, now? When I do something that's not like perfect, something comes up.
Dream
The best part of the dream was that Tim Burton was in it, this time. :) Everyone thought he was so important, and then it was realized that I would be venerated as him if I weren't mixed race and half Chinese-Indonesian. I imagined him in feeling holding me, like a little ball of animal, as though he were sorry for me and stimulating me in a certain way that was a little silly, too, but it was pretty stimulating but not totally stimulating, needless to say. I was like outside in a hedge area.
I guess the most horrific thing was that there was this one part where I was in with vermin. There was this one like Scrat that was so shockingly scary and vicious. We'd pound it off its host, which was a tail for some reason of something standing, and it'd regenerate very quickly and bite something again, not much in the room. It came up like a fire, so quick and snappy. We tried like knocking it out maybe. I think my animal was like a good Scrat that once or twice bit and ripped its stretching thinning neck so hard it severed, but it was still alive and kicking. There was another little animal doing it with me. I was just horrified it was hurting someone, but it was so scary. I knew all along how to get it out was to blow it out, and we did and for some reason it was attacked to like a balloon with parts of it turned into hedge and like stretched out, no longer moving for some reason, hurt with no incentive. I realized waking up that it could attack someone else out there and we should have thought to cage it. It does remind me of me talking about Tim Burton's family all the time, which maybe there's no point, anymore. Now, it's more about him but also thinking of the liberties he gives his daughter, also was about the power he gave his girlfriend, etc.
There was another point early in the dream where I was getting a oblong thick donut that supposedly had chocolate and cream in it. There was a little chocolate sticking out. Someone got in front of me and I was gonna get a new one I noticed in the mix, which was also larger and smaller ones, the larger ones not having as much frosting and the smaller ones having maybe pink and white with sprinkles.
I guess something else important was I imagined a boy letting me have him carry me. I was all stimulated and jittery but not like very stimulated, just kinda in streaks|pieces. He didn't want me to feel like that anymore and only if I was just at his side with my legs sticking in front of me somehow, but it left a hurt feeling of something I'd done too much and I couldn't feel anything but a stoppage of slight acute pain. I just felt that way from my life.
I was at a camp, too.
The most interesting part was meeting Tim Burton, but he left because I was feeling guilty and so were others about the zone.
You can't have me feel something for someone, at a distance, and suddenly you think I've messed up when it wasn't on purpose nor supposedly a big deal at first and think I will then interact with someone else in the way I only did with one other person.
I guess the most horrific thing was that there was this one part where I was in with vermin. There was this one like Scrat that was so shockingly scary and vicious. We'd pound it off its host, which was a tail for some reason of something standing, and it'd regenerate very quickly and bite something again, not much in the room. It came up like a fire, so quick and snappy. We tried like knocking it out maybe. I think my animal was like a good Scrat that once or twice bit and ripped its stretching thinning neck so hard it severed, but it was still alive and kicking. There was another little animal doing it with me. I was just horrified it was hurting someone, but it was so scary. I knew all along how to get it out was to blow it out, and we did and for some reason it was attacked to like a balloon with parts of it turned into hedge and like stretched out, no longer moving for some reason, hurt with no incentive. I realized waking up that it could attack someone else out there and we should have thought to cage it. It does remind me of me talking about Tim Burton's family all the time, which maybe there's no point, anymore. Now, it's more about him but also thinking of the liberties he gives his daughter, also was about the power he gave his girlfriend, etc.
There was another point early in the dream where I was getting a oblong thick donut that supposedly had chocolate and cream in it. There was a little chocolate sticking out. Someone got in front of me and I was gonna get a new one I noticed in the mix, which was also larger and smaller ones, the larger ones not having as much frosting and the smaller ones having maybe pink and white with sprinkles.
I guess something else important was I imagined a boy letting me have him carry me. I was all stimulated and jittery but not like very stimulated, just kinda in streaks|pieces. He didn't want me to feel like that anymore and only if I was just at his side with my legs sticking in front of me somehow, but it left a hurt feeling of something I'd done too much and I couldn't feel anything but a stoppage of slight acute pain. I just felt that way from my life.
I was at a camp, too.
The most interesting part was meeting Tim Burton, but he left because I was feeling guilty and so were others about the zone.
You can't have me feel something for someone, at a distance, and suddenly you think I've messed up when it wasn't on purpose nor supposedly a big deal at first and think I will then interact with someone else in the way I only did with one other person.
Importance
Do you know people who think they are so important as to affect your life in fundamental ways?
All-Knowing
Do you know certain kinds of people who just like sorta flicking you off like they know everything? There's always a reason.
Sarcasm and Repetition
I find people are sarcastic and repetitive and incessant with me. Not the general public, just a select individuals who think they have authority over things.
People Trusting Me
I used to put up with waiting for feeling okay, but I realized there was no sense in that and so did people much older than me.
I think people pretty much think I'm in check now and everything I do is for a reason. There's too much rapport and tragedy in my past. There's no room for error or something to throw me off in a sensitive state.
I think people pretty much think I'm in check now and everything I do is for a reason. There's too much rapport and tragedy in my past. There's no room for error or something to throw me off in a sensitive state.
Disturbed
I was feeling very upset again and am very upset about it, but I didn't do anything.
These thoughts are kinda faded in my background, now. Hopefully they won't come up again, anyway.
I'm not even sure which thoughts bother who. I was concerned they would pop up, and people understand I had this concern.
These thoughts are kinda faded in my background, now. Hopefully they won't come up again, anyway.
I'm not even sure which thoughts bother who. I was concerned they would pop up, and people understand I had this concern.
Bothered
I was trying to sleep but woke up bothered.
I don't want my parents controlling my life, emotionally and socially, at 26. They were supposed to have already backed off out of respect. They've been at me for years since punching my wall one time when I was upset at racism online on the Johnny Depp board on IMDb.
They're not supposed to even touch me.
They seem to have a thing of thinking if something goes wrong that is kinda normal that I have to be on guard for a certain period of time. I'm not doing that, but I'm getting an extended "message" that may just be play. I don't need them.
I'm most mad I don't have my relationship as well with them as it was. }:[
I don't want my parents controlling my life, emotionally and socially, at 26. They were supposed to have already backed off out of respect. They've been at me for years since punching my wall one time when I was upset at racism online on the Johnny Depp board on IMDb.
They're not supposed to even touch me.
They seem to have a thing of thinking if something goes wrong that is kinda normal that I have to be on guard for a certain period of time. I'm not doing that, but I'm getting an extended "message" that may just be play. I don't need them.
I'm most mad I don't have my relationship as well with them as it was. }:[
Parents and Kids
So, a parent can introduce a kid to something the other parent didn't experience but seemed in the end set up to.
Changing
Should a parent become like their kids when others like them the way they are and so do they?
Tim Burton
I wonder what Tim Burton's big plan was after Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I mean he even looks like Willy Wonka. It seems like he only wants to be around very good people and very bad people. I'm not like that. :(
Combining the Two
So, basically people combined their needs into going against me as the same thing.
Nell Burton
It seems like Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton's daughter wants to change their father.
Deciding What I Really Want to Feel
I think I can make my own decisions and not follow the desires|lives of others.
Great Pains
It's interesting how you can go through great pains to do some things and not do some things.
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