Sunday, September 2, 2012

Not All There, Myself....

I don't have everything there all the time, but it always comes out right.  :|

Being Intelligent

Why is being intelligent so stimulating?

How Different Kinds of Arts Feel

Don't musicians and actors feel more than artists and dancers?

Artists and dancers are smart, though.

All Knowing

Ever wonder if you want to know something in the right way or not at all?

Pretty Honest

I'm pretty honest.

What!?

I wonder if I should just leave because people don't want me to feel anything.  D:

Moments That Are Okay

You know how there are some moments that are okay?

What's Going On

What's going on, though?

D:

I guess I'm okay, now.

Stimulation

Why are people so obsessed by being stimulated by older people?

Killing People

Why break a man?

Maybe, we should like flash things in front of people that they can't coordinate or that are useless.  No.

D: Ah! What do I do now?

No one cares how uncomfortable my life is when I've taken good care of myself.  They think everyone should be the same.

Mad - Disturbed!!!!

What's so good about taking on things you can't handle?  Why not just leave me alone!  What's going on!!!

Helena Bonham Carter

Helena Bonham Carter is definitely overly idealized.

Tim Burton Versus Johnny Depp

What if we all like Tim Burton better than Johnny Depp because Helena is his girlfriend?
I still see better without my glasses.

My Mom

I was with my mom a lot when I was little, like her holding me or carrying me.  I know, I felt uncomfortable around her for awhile and more comfortable around my dad, but now my mom makes me feel better and my dad I dunno I guess we're kinda over it.  :|

Cursing

When is cursing ever justified?  I did say "white trash" came out as a term, but that's because "black" is a term.  I think I mentioned about saying that, though.  :|

Finding People Who Enjoy Thinking|Who Think. :p

I guess they're finding people who think and making sure they aren't too silly in a stimulating way.

Judging People Together

Do you judge people once they're together?

Or how together are they?

It's easy enough to find a date if your life is going right.

Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter

For some reason, Tim Burton seems right with Helena Bonham Carter.

Torture! D:

Why are people from Florida put through so much torture?

Lenient Racial Judgers

Italians are lenient racial judgers.

People's Capacities

capacity

I guess people who are fat are still waiting to happen, when the time is right.  Same with thin people.  I'm thinking of adults, though.

I wonder if it's ever right to take away someone's dignity and the fact they're attractive and in the process of intellectualizing.

So, what are people with quite dark hair really like?  My parents aren't like very dark.  They're not blond, though.  In fact, you've been able to see pictures of my dad with black hair, and my mom is Chinese-Indonesian.  My dad's eyes are blue, though.  8/

I think it's about the past.  I know a lot of people are nice with different looks.

I think Tim Burton wants command racially, like a total submission to the European race.  Some people are afraid to do some things, though.  How is that submission to the European race?

What's Okay and What's Not Okay

I wonder why it's okay for Helena Bonham Carter to do some things and not others.  Like with Tim Burton.

I've been wondering about why other people aren't as good as Tim Burton.  I guess we just have to make our way.

Something I Just Noticed

Why does Tim Burton's son seem so confident around his dad but submissive to his mom?  I think their daughter is submissive around both.
Tumblr

Why Submit?

Why submit to happiness when someone thinks your guilty?

Taking our Time

It seems that in the end they want their children to be on top of us, so why waste their time, Tim Burton?

Taking Suggestions

People take the facts way too far as suggestions.

Tim Burton and the Arts

Why would you be encouraged to be in a Tim Burton movie and then told not to be?

It seems there is always one more reason, too.

Also, it seems normal to be in one movie, but I've seen people want other people to return, instead.

Some people are highly wanted, as well.

I feel the only reason I'm into movies is because of Tim Burton.  I ended up getting fatter, but it wasn't because of him.  I eventually got even fatter, which wasn't as big a deal as getting fatter to begin with, and eventually posted online, though I was also interested in Johnny Depp.  It's just that Tim Burton is more of an open person.  Maybe, Johnny Depp is, too.

I always thought it'd be cool to be a movie star but was trying to succeed in the arts.

"Night of the Living Dead"

It seems the roles aren't big enough to be worth it, at all.

"Night of the Living Dead"

Tim Burton is doing Night of the Living Dead, so if I don't be Mai, then I'll probably do that as the 20-year-old girl.  I'm not saying I'm bound to play these roles, but it would be the "right" decision.  :|

I guess it isn't in the spirit of things to play older roles set apart.  It may be for like a teenager to play a teenager for once.

Some People

So, people notice a flaw and blame the other parent?

Racist!

I notice that more popular people are nicer to me but that others are racist.  ':{

Re-Imagining

Why are people always re-imagining I'm in trouble?

Like, I do something, and I try to achieve something, and then it turns to muddle.

Radical

Why do some people hide behind a mask and make things seem not okay and so radical?

Solving Your Own Problems

If you have an issue, why make it others's lives?

Okay.

So, it seems to be in right now, for some reason, to constantly interpose I don't deserve to do things I'm doing to make myself happy.  It also seems wanted that I remain secluded until I'm in an appropriate mood.  My ear was hurting a lot from a pimple.

It just seems it was a thing to do randomly just to challenge me.

Slimmer

I did eat last night and feel slimmer now.

Types of Feeling People

Also, feeling things is awkward, in some ways, but some relationships just exist.  For some reason, it seems complicated for a more older person to affect you, some, like in touching you and stuff, dunno.  Like, it's sad when someone doesn't seem in the spirit to be affective like others, maybe makes them sad.  Like, I know some intellectual people are more clean cut and stimulating and some people also really enjoy some intellectual things.  Most people seem to have a more touchy side in their own "mushy" way, though.

Dream

So, it wasn't tacky like because it was just like I was a little girl, kinda like having an adopted mom.  It was neat, though, I had the composure I had today rather than feeling totally smothered or something.  I tend to reject that or not have had the opportunity as much to feel quite like that, often at least.  I really don't, now.

I was just completely comfortable.

In some ways, you can compensate the idea, though not when concentrating on one side, that it's like give and take, you can be like both, touch someone else or let someone else touch you.

I like that high quality, sorta "neat" quality of being touched and feeling that I assume everyone craves.  However, I feel more like I did what was obviously desired like the people who administer these feelings.  I know that other people are affected by them, even if they're not like them.  It's not limited to race, neither, but it seems that often Caucasians do more of this.

By that quality I mean like it seems sorta pre-planned, kinda like what people in the arts give the vibe of for some reason.  It's interesting, like in gymnastics and such things, you feel different ways, supposedly.  Dunno, though.

Or maybe it's more of that family feel, too, but perhaps more desirable as that publicized or artsy quality, rather, it seems.

But, it was nice, it was just like the person was my mom.  It's interesting how I felt that when I was awake.  It was a literal thought.  It was like that in age and technically.  I've written how you can feel thoughts, like happy or generous thoughts, not as ideas but as the feelings themselves, though these feelings don't last as long as they seem they should.

I assume everyone feels complexly, not sure how physical and like combined as emotional.

Also, I'm having my female thing.  I had a very very little like the other day or so ago, so it's interesting.  I hope it's substantial because since having that pill I don't need (psychiatric pill) I haven't but got off it.  It gave me a tumor under my brain, too.  Yes, it's connected.  It's under a gland under the brain.  They probably won't ever operate because it's so small.  I get one more brain scan.

It's true I've been acting more commanding realizing my kids could get hurt if submissive, and I don't want to like depend on the husband-father.

Yea, my female thing has been pretty light, whereas before it was always very heavy, sometimes not as heavy as usual but not often.

So, anyway, I had a partly nice dream.  :)  It was a big awkward but somehow happened.  :|  Not sure why, but it was nice.  It gives me ideas and makes me feel more calm, at least.  One day, I will get to help people like that in real life.  That's not what you're supposed to be thinking when it's about you because the other person doesn't want to think like that in that situation, themselves.  I don't see how I will do it, one day, exactly, but I guess it's kinda in my will to do it or something.  Depends on if it's invited, too.

Also, I feel different in the situation of my generation as to later ones.  Like, it seems more suggestive in ways, I guess, physically, maybe a good thing.  I forget if I was to say something I haven't in this arena.  I've felt like reflections of how I'd want like my kids to feel, a molding or improvement of how I felt, somehow, interesting to sit and try to imagine.

Dream

I just wrote a bunch of stuff that was erased.  It's the first time Blogger didn't save it.  I guess it's because I have to enter a code when I post.  It only asks for it once, though.

I don't remember all I dreamed, but here's the dream I remember:

Well, it was about someone holding me.  There was a dimly lit place with curtains about.  There were contained places and platforms.  I guess it was more hot in tone.

First, this person was a lesbian and not old enough to be my parent.  She had a baby.  I went to visit, and I felt a lot of feeling from the baby in a way.  I was happy to give other people a turn to visit.  I guess they were a bit younger but adult girls.

So, some girls from high school a year older, could recognize 2 of them, asked me to go with them across ramps and through a room and areas.

The first person I mentioned's baby daughter became a young girl, maybe age 4, and she was holding her over her head.

Later, there was a dance, and the person held me, and I guess I was supposedly like a young girl but not in my former self.  She pressed against me, and I usually feel in my private area but not like anything bad like it seems other people feel things that are more inappropriate, like just a pure soft feeling.  I need to start to be a person of feeling all over myself.  I mean I tap into it, but I myself don't feel there like that often, unsure why, not around people as much lately touching me and stuff.  So, I guess my size was that my feet were dangling from the floor about 1 1|2 feet.  I was kinda flat, attractive, too.  I don't mean like a paper, more like smooth and straight shaped sentimented.  I guess I was actually thin yet a little blubbery yet not too saggy in unattractive way.  So, I just felt like sheltered and like she was my mom, totally comfortable in the situation, was like a little girl I mean but just like kinda the same person I am now, I guess.  For some reason, no one could see me.  It was like a platform or something where we looked on a larger area, maybe seemed kinda Disney Middle Eastern in coloring at least but European|Caucasian more.  So, then, she was also holding her baby, who looked different, now, like it was someone with older parents I just realized.  So, I saw what it looked like and that no one saw though it was tackily shrouded in black with like short triangle shaped hats and like an overall shrouding.  Then, the baby grew up.  I got more stumpy with long thin ankle areas and felt I was hovered over on the side, like I was in no happiness to do this any longer.  It was different after a somewhat short while when she was holding her baby, too.  Then, she had another small baby, maybe with even older parents seeming I also just realized now.  So, I felt I didn't like it anymore and I guess she agreed.

Before my dream, I was thinking of someone being like my mom though from my mom's side, like the relationship more, maybe with the influence of my dad.

I was touching or thinking of touching in my dream, but it's funny when you're being touched or going to be touched like.

I know people sometimes feel turned on by people other than their parents.  It might be if another person has a certain way they are compared to the other parent or also fits you as a person how you came out to like from your parents.

I guess with older people, you end up getting touched in your relationship.

I don't really like the mushy, sorta menial feeling and am unsure why other seem to.  Maybe, they don't really.  I don't think all generations were like this.  I guess it's considered tacky to some.  They feel good, too, though, in their own way.

It seems you don't have to be touched yourself to affect someone else and know what you're doing.  However, maybe you need relationships with older people or at least desire it.

Some Reason, in the End

I always discover some reason, in the end.

All Scurrying

I see people are all scurrying to apologize to me, in some form or another.  :|

Punish the Wrongdoer

Why not just punish the people with the bad idea?

I deserve better than this.

It feels like I'm following unnecessary things for no reason.

Hurting Someone

Why would you do something less than perfect trying to be cute?

Different Meanings

Why do something and think you can mean 2 different things when you don't?

Good Versus Bad

Also, certain kinds of people are allowed to mess up once in awhile.  They aren't outright deviously planning against anyone.  Why reward people who do that?

Being Mean

I don't find it creative to administer deeds in case something goes wrong nor to think it's okay to be mean to anyone.

It might be okay, but some people aren't ready to do that in the right way.  What they say doesn't really matter.  In some way it does, but I guess you'd have to figure out a way to explain the multiple meanings that implies.

People Getting Worked up Over Me

It's already been established by the world that it's okay to take out anger in certain ways, which includes throwing things as long as it doesn't break anything nor I guess scare anyone in the house too much.

American History in High School

Why did I have a problem with American History in high school?

That summer, I didn't visit up north my relatives.

American History was hard.

I stayed home during the summer this time and was in a musical and early college.  It was the kid's musical program which was in the summer.  The next year, they made a play during the year for the first time since I'd been there, though.

I even quit most of my activities.  I just stayed in church adult choir, until the new director made a youth one, too, and started doing the ballet as the adult class on Saturdays.

I wasn't encouraged further to change to Honors from a harder program to take a test to get out of a college class.

A Change of Tone?

I guess I'm wondering why the tone of things changed.  :|

Controlling Things, Indirectly

I think, though, that other people get into trouble for trying to control things, indirectly.

Not the Same

Sure, it's not the same as throwing things on the floor in anger.

Things That Change

Why is it in the plan for anyone to be vicious to me?  What if I slightly altered things?  Maybe, I could just keep doing things like it didn't matter, like talk random things that didn't connect.  What would it do?  I know I could probably take it.  :|

Oh well, just looking into things, whereas most people don't do that until it's too late.  See, I'm not vicious|mad.

Tim Burton's Daughter

I could tell in the video of her that she, however, when you see her move, seems just like her daddy.  However, Lily Rose Depp looks like him as a photograph and moves like a kid.

Tim Burton's Daugther

I guess Tim Burton's daughter molds herself after him but not in the way I believe people are essentially the same in that sometimes you do essentially the same thing as someone more when you aren't like molding yourself in their likeness in some other way, like by having fat drip off your face in a funny way if you used to be skinnier, for instance.

Don't Act Asian

I wonder if Chloë Moretz thought I was against her with my Asian background.  I think people around the world, kids, feed off the fact they aren't Asian to better themselves.  I don't act Asian, at all.

Tim Burton Helping Helena Bonham Carter

I wonder if Tim Burton can fix Helena Bonham Carter's problems.

Wanting Others Hurt

People want to hurt others, anyway.

Accepting What Comes My Way

I guess I just have to accept what comes, but things come up.  :(

Organization

Some people aren't into making things seem okay.

I know I felt comfortable when my table was in a certain mess.

Mockery

Why do people like mock me for feeling things?

Special Treatment

When someone is being treated to special treatment, you don't go and trip them!

Result of Argument

Funny how the argument in a way doesn't lead to what you want.

Getting Stimulated the Right Way

Seems if you do certain things you don't get to stimulate yourself in the right way.

Wasted Time

Some people are incessant and not into details.

I guess there can be a reason for everything, but why waste time?

I can't wait until Monday and I can submit to casting agencies through mail and calling.

I do go through life not fearing firsts.  I also believe in things never happening, via taking the time to develop antibodies.

In Hard Times

Why punish people in hard times?

How It's About Feeling

True, it isn't so much about feeling right away too much as it is discussing it and doing it from time to time.

Difficult Situations

Wow, it seems like I'm in big trouble for difficult situations.

Facts Are Changing

The issue is solved to begin with.  The facts are there.

Times are changing.

Not About Feeling, Anymore

I wonder why all of a sudden it's not about feeling.

Getting by With Attention

I guess Tim Burton is into the right people getting the right kind of attention.  So am I.  I just want to get by!

Wary of Me Living My Life?

Why are people, some, so upset if I feel anything?

Tim Burton

It's funny how he's for kids.

Getting Better

Things are getting better for me, just getting over a pimple in my ear from a rubber, greasy ear plug putting too much pressure on my ear.  I finally took the ear plug out and managed to eat, but blood started pumping in my ear.  Though I was tired before, listening to music all night, I don't feel as tired!  :D

Something Personal

Well, maybe it's something personal.

A Reason

There may be a reason, but it seems things aren't as they should be, yet.

Anticipation I'll Do Something Bad

People won't stop being ridiculous towards me.  They are so mad at me for getting mad like I'll do something bad.

Appreciating Someone

If people want to show someone is incompetent, why beg for their personal attention?

Rules to Fit Your Situation

People try to make rules that fit their situation.

New Photo of Me

Flickr

Being Mean to Me

I don't know why people are mean to me to begin with and why it pops up.

Taking Away Things

I don't remember now if The Nightmare Before Christmas took away certain things from me because ... well, I think every cartoon did.

Shielding Away Special People

Why just shield against me with others?  Give others special treatment?

At Least Uninhibited

Well, at least Chloë Moretz doesn't have to worry that she inhibited me to talk to her, to not I mean.

The Biggest Mistake in Hollywood!

I don't think I would want to be bad ... why just talk to bad people who make you feel good by comparison?  That's the biggest mistake in Hollywood!

Chloë Moretz's Success in Tweeting

So, what makes Chloë Moretz successful is she lets people Tweet her, but she just doesn't respond.

Collision

So a thought collided that maybe she was just to be with Tim Burton but maybe I was jealous and wanted in.

Good Tweets

I guess I thought I could help Chloë Moretz.  I just Tweeted her for my own good and said so somewhere.  It wasn't meant for her to interact with me.  Now, I'm more hoping for a response.  I dunno, though, she's already Tim Burton material.

An Issue to Begin With

When there is an issue to begin with, all facts against it are taken into consideration.

Ability to Make a Solid Decision

When the facts come together, I am able to make a decision.

Chloë Moretz and Who Wants Tweets

Justin Bieber seemed to want Tweets.

I should be able to follow people like Chloë Moretz.  It's just the fact she worked with Tim Burton.

I guess the matter is just like she should have just been with Tim Burton plus the cast?  She came on Twitter, though.

So..

No one should have Tweeted her?  Why did she get on there?  To show off?  Nah!

Chloë Moretz Working With Tim Burton on "Dark Shadows"

So, Chloë Moretz could have been secluded if she wanted.

People are too used to claiming I'm uninteresting or how I'm inhibited.  Perhaps, life wasn't perfect during the filming of Dark Shadows.

So, did she really want people to just like praise her ... why get mad at me for being a Tim Burton fan?  I find older posters do that.  I guess they were treated badly by posters older than them.  Is there a thing about being an older, unsuccessful fan?

She didn't give too many Tweets on the movie, but it was fun to follow her and let her know that I was.

Also, she can get another project with Tim Burton if this is important.

Why not bar out other people?

The Same Effect No Matter What I Chose

I'm unsure now why it came into play that I should leave someone alone working with Tim Burton.  If I knew Mia Wasikowska had a Twitter, I'd probably talk to her.  I didn't make any shout-outs to her online but made a blog to talk about Alice in Wonderland or Anne Hathaway or felt like I was talking to her.

I guess I'd be jealous if Tim Burton would never want to meet me.  I'd get over it, though.  :|  Isn't that something most people don't think about?  :|

I realized it was important to Tim Burton that you focus on one person at a time.  However, that wasn't his only motive.

Hey, I guess I could take off someone's concentration, but that would actually enhance the experience.

I mean, I look at the other Tweets, and they're like blah.

I mean, she goes on Twitter.

I know not talking to her would also give me the same effect.

Skin Sagging?

Why did I always sport the look more of skin sagging from my face and body?

Well, it's not my total look.

Arguments around Boys

I don't take argument from afar, like I offer to settle something, like with the boys I model myself after.

Rather Marry

I'm glad I have an attractive Asian mom, but I'd rather marry white trash.  Oops, it just came out.

Trying out for Dance Team

Why do I feel guilty for not trying out for dance team?

Tweeting Chloë Moretz During "Dark Shadows"

Chloë Moretz didn't have to notice me on Twitter.

There are Twitters based off Justin Bieber's name, many, as well as of Chloë Moretz.

Americans

Americans tend to keep going and then stop up.

The Success of Others

My life depends on the success of others.

Tim Burton at Press Conferences

I feel antsy now seeing Tim Burton at press conferences that are long because it'll just be people afraid to like soak in what he's saying.

It's definitely a good thing, though.

Competition

I do some things just to be competitive.

The Chance

Well, yea I was wary of Mia Wasikowska but not Anne Hathaway.

Um ... I forget what else I was gonna say now.

Oh yea, so, ... I gotta talk to someone I get on with.  I can't sit around and grow old.  It seems like I had a good influence on her, in the end.  She needed someone to talk to.

Chloë Moretz

It seems like I shouldn't have talked to Chloë Moretz while she filmed Dark Shadows.  I don't know why, though.

However, I'm confused as to who she is.  Maybe, she was made for him.  However, it seems Tim Burton made himself more.
Drawing

Tim Burton Good for Helena Bonham Carter

So, Tim Burton was good for Helena Bonham Carter.

Through With Things

When I am through with things, I don't notice them, anymore.

Through

I think I still am who I am?  ,:|

More than others.

I have more than one stereotype.  Not sure what I was working on now, exactly.

I did notice that people want to know right away if I'm like something.

Maybe, I'm just through with some things.

Tim Burton and Others

Tim Burton seems chosey on who he works with, works with older people more.

I think it would be interesting if he got a very attractive person and modeled them to work with more than once, a young person, a good example.

I think I would be good in that I have a multi-faceted personality.

Well, no, I never have to meet him, but I'm still the same person and have a lot to offer him, as a person.  I have to know someone and interact with them.  I'm just getting there.  ':[

Tweeting Chloë Moretz During "Dark Shadows"

So, I wonder if I disturbed Chloë Moretz by Tweeting her so much, but stars like that ... and if it would be bad for her even if she worked with Tim Burton again in the near future.

Success

So, people want to enjoy you but not let you succeed?

I usually feel more comfortable around older people because I feel incompetent around younger ones.

Attention!

Most people get attention, but who from?

Thinking Straight

It seems Jews can think more clearly than Chinese.  Jews are white.  8|

Mistaken

People forget what was important and think they have to please their elders when they're mistaken.

Supersision

People seem to think their kids shouldn't supersede them, but sometimes that isn't the case.

Music

Maybe, I'm just really good at music.  :D

Development

People haven't been letting me develop.